My client had never had counselling before. She thought her “problems” were trivial compared to many. Often people fear they have to have great trauma in their lives, like severe abuse, in order to warrant counselling.
My client is stoical. She hides her pain, even agony, in her work and in her care of others. Many people find their work a distraction, even solace; something they can control in a maze of things which are beyond their control. Eventually work seems to become out of control as well.
Originally, she wanted tips on how to relax and find time to do things for herself, but any ideas proved impossible.
Eventually she realized the strain she was under. By giving herself time to talk with a person with whom she didn’t have to appear capable and happy; someone who was not judgmental enabled her to learn more about the enormity of the anxieties and difficulties she was carrying.
Of course, this is what many people are defending themselves from: the realization of their pain. However, until it is allowed to reach consciousness, we know it cannot be addressed. By allowing herself to notice it, my client started to be able to think about it and give it some attention. It began to feel more under her control.
